May 15, 2017

Overcome The Past I'm Afraid Of

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Throughout our life, we wouldn't be able to avoid making mistakes, from as small as saying 'No' to your parents to as big as a crime where you'd be put in jail for it. I believe everyone has that one past they're afraid of, or is it just me?

I actually have that one particular incident happened that I'm afraid of. I won't reveal it here, but it's enough for you to know that I did something terrible, something I regretted a lot. That incident in some way affected my life at that moment and until now I'm afraid of it coming back to bite me in the future. Just the thought alone made me felt like committing suicide. Well, that's how huge the mistake I did, though I didn't go to jail for it, lol. Almost, maybe?

Here's what I learned after the incident;

Having the people you trust, the people who believe in you is a gift you will cherish for the rest of your life. I couldn't tell my family about the incident, I told my close friends instead. They didn't straightly judge me like everyone else. They listened to my side of the story, they helped me solve the problem and lent their shoulder for me to cry on. From that moment, I knew that these people are the friends I wouldn't be able to live without. I love you guys, you know who you are.

Be brave and confront the problem you caused. You were the one who did it so it's a cowardly act if you run from it. The problem wouldn't be solved if you don't confront and try to solve it. In the end, you're the one who would be imprisoned by it and trust me, it will affect your mental well-being, and that is a big NO.

One mistake doesn't make your whole world ends. No matter how huge the mistake you did, as long as you regretted doing it and you vow to not repeat it again, you're free from it! I know it will be hard to face the public, to hear insults and stuff but bear in mind that people were so boring they don't know what to do other than to talk bad and judge you, but it will only be temporary. Held your head high and face them like a boss, because these people who only brings you negativity shouldn't be in your life anyway.

Here's a confession; The incident happened over a year now but I still can't get over it. Sometimes it hunted me down in my dreams and like I mentioned earlier, I'm afraid of it coming back to bite me in the future. But for now, I choose to just embrace the present and slowly trying to let it go.

Do you have the past you're afraid of? Did you get over it yet?

Till then,
Lya.

18 comments:

  1. I have the tendency to forget the past especially the bad ones. I guess I still not brave enough to face it lol

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    1. Actually that was the first time I face the incident I did because it was so huge I couldn't avoid it haha.

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  2. I DO, and I never did know that it will attack me in the future when for all those of almost 7 years I thought I were never affected by it.

    But, who doesn't keep any skeleton in their closet?

    Gradually, I just let things go. Accept the fact that things happened by well, as you have said - confront the past. Acknowledge it. Things happened for reason. You would not be here if you did not go through that kind of past ._. Isn't? Hiks.

    Be strong!

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    1. Guess I could agree with you. If I didn't go through the incident I caused that time, I might doing it later, much bigger. So I learned from the mistake and now careful of my actions which I think I've grown more mature after the incident.

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  3. I have the tendency to pretend I'm fine by myself and keeping my mistakes shut to myself.. Sometimes I'm scared thinking of it, but it's just hard to spill it out..

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    1. we have the same thought!

      Lya, im agree with all points tht u state in the post. hoping u can overcome and let it go soon. sometimes, those mistakes make u stronger and better in the future :) dont worry be happy :D

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    2. Flavnesz : I didn't have the courage to reveal what I did (as you can see) but at that time I couldn't avoid it. I learned from it though, if I own a time machine I would correct the mistake!

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    3. BV : Yeap I guess it did make me grown more mature. Thanks for the kind wish :)

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  4. Oh god I do and it haunt me. The worst thing is how I stop believing myself even though everyone is not. I never lose faith in myself and never has been haunted as I always let go but this one seems to linger forever. I guess I'll take it to my grave.

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    1. Mine too, I think it'll forever hunted me down *sigh. Let's together try to get over it!

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  5. Btw, I hope you would stop thinking that suicide thing. Nothing on earth should make you feel like that and I believe it must felt so bad, pray a lot that you'll get over it.

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    1. Thank you for your encouraging words, I needed this T___T

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  6. Sama Lya...ada beberapa perkara yang dah tak mahu ingat lagi. Semoga Allah mengampuni walaupun mulut manusia tak mahu berhenti bercakap mengenainya.

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    1. Betul tu. Kerja kita, mintak ampun pada-NYA je. Pedulikan je mulut yang lain tu hmm

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  7. I have choose to forget and many of my bad memories I did not remember it well. Maybe the trauma itself makes me forget. Be strong lya, we all have that bad moments in life and well said, just one mistakes does not meant there is nothing left for us on this world. :)

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    1. That's nice actually to be able to forget that easy. I thought I could forget it in 6 months but it's been over a year already I still can't get over it *sigh

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  8. Same here Lya.. Siqah ada juga kenangan yang tak boleh dilupakan. Kenangan buruk yang Siqah buat salah dan takut ia makan diri Siqah nanti. Serius boleh dikatakan hari2 akan fikir benda yang sama. Siqah pilih untuk jadikan itu pengajaran yang tidak akan berulang lagi, for sure.

    Remember Lya. You're not alone. Sekali kita buat salah, tidak semestinya kita perlu lupakan semua kebaikan yang kita buat...

    Be strong, Lya ��

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    1. Betul tu Siqah. Plaing takut benda tu makan kita balik di masa akan datang. Tapi for now, live the moment je and try to forget.
      Thank you for the kind words Siqah, I needed this ;')

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